On resolutions:

1. Stop buying bread and breakfast cereal. I made my own bread last week and it was so delicious. The girls and I ate half a loaf by noon. One recipe equals two loaves which is plenty for one week. I neat thing I found out is that I don’t have to bake both loaves at once. I can refrigerator one loaf before the second rising and pull it out when I am ready to bake it. It rises best in the oven with a pan of hot water, perhaps because it take a while to warm up after being chilled? I don’t know, but I do know that I like smelling and tasting fresh bread twice in one week instead of just once. Plus, I only have one bread loaf pan and I don’t want any extra stuff in my kitchen. As far as breakfast cereal goes, it’s just too damned expensive for such an inferior product. I finally managed to put together an oatmeal recipe that we all love. I am naming it apple pie oatmeal because that is exactly what it tastes like. And no, it is not loaded with sugar! Just 2 tbsps of sugar for 3-4 cups of cooked oatmeal. I think it could have less, too, and still be yummy.

2. Yoga at least 3 times a week. Everyday is just  not realistic for me. I don’t need to lose weight and I don’t really care about getting “fit”- I just like yoga and want to do it more.

3. Once Helena is sleeping a little better and not so dependent on the boob, I am totally committed to once a month date nights with John. Yes, once a month. I know lots of moms do the once a week thing. That would never work for us. Too much routine makes it lose all appeal. Once a month is just enough to keep it exciting and something to look forward to instead of a chore.

4. Read more. I only read 32 books last year! That sucks! I am already on my 2nd and 3rd book of 2009, so far so good, but I need to keep it up or I’ll never get through my GoodReads to-read list! Speaking of books, I was able to download lots of books on podcast through Zune and I am really looking forward to listening to that in the car this spring when we drive to Texas. Alice in Wonderland (which I have read 3 times, but hey, the girls love it), Aesop’s Fables, The Wind in the WIllows, Anne of Green Gables (also read many times), & Harry Potter.

On the future:

For those of you who read my last blog, you know all about my internal crisis regarding my future career. The path is pretty much wide open. My BA is useless for the most part, so no matter what I do I’ll need to start over. Either go back to school, or start in a very entry level position and work my way up. Here’s the thing though: at what point do I admit to myself and others that I don’t really want to do anything? Because that’s the truth. I like being home with kids. I like having the time to knit things and bake and garden. I don’t want to choose between Ava’s holiday concert and a meeting. I don’t want to eat out more because I am too tired to cook. I don’t want to worry about having enough vacation time to take my kids to their grandparents for a good chunk of the summer. I just want to be a gardener and a knitter and mom to my kids and a wife to John and random volunteer when I have the time and it suits me. My kids are still little and I am in the thick of mothering. Perhaps this will change when my kids don’t need me as much. I certainly need to maintain an identity outside of my family because there will be day when my kids don’t depend on me. But for now, I don’t want to worry about a career. I am not failing feminism by doing this, either, and I am done feeling guilty about it.